Selfishly Sad

I wrote last week about my coworker that collapsed at work. Thank you to those of you who have written sweet comments. I haven't really mentioned much about it since, because I didn't want to seem like a downer or like I was seeking sympathy, but amist all the celebration going on in my life, heaven is now celebrating the receiving a wonderful new angel. My coworker...my friend entered heaven early Sunday morning after being nonresponisive since that fatefull day last week. I've only worked at my current job since March, but each of those days were spent with her just two doors down. So, selfishly I am sad. Sad that she won't be sitting with me in our little corner anymore. Sad that I won't hear her little quirks and perks throughout the day. Sad I won't check in on what she's doing as I come and go all day long. I will miss her. I will miss her support and the way she'd say my name. I will miss her teasing me about how many times a day I go to the bathroom. I will miss her comments on jewelry or clothes I wear or what she just found in the gift shop on her lunch break. She dedicated her life to work for more than 36 years. She was a part of the hospital before the first patient was ever served. She had stories you couldn't hear anywhere else. We will be worse without her, but she will never be forgotten as long as this place is still standing..and probably long after. So, selfishly I am sad, but I will remember her dancing outside my door and blaming the sailor for taking over her body as an excuse for cursing. I will remember and smile when I think about the things that made me laugh..whether she meant them to be funny or not and the things that just made me shake my head.

While that day of fear, sadness, and regret will be imprinted in my memory, I will celebrate life because she is now free of all her burdens that this life brought. She no longer has to carry the weight of this world and is free to celebrate a new life in a new place. I wish she was here, selfishly, but I really hope she knows how much people really love her.

It's always hard to say goodbye...