Many people are taking to the blogosphere, facebook, twitter, instagram to share their feelings about Friday's tragedy, asking for donations, or just deferring to other's words. I intended to post some photos on Friday, as I am still trying to catch up from taking a few weeks off from blogging, but as soon as I heard I just couldn't.
I didn't want to not say anything and I didn't want to draw attention to myself by talking about my emotions. These emotions are hard. It brings up stuff for me that runs deep in my heart and in my community. I appreciate my friends and former classmates that have posted on Facebook. It's comforting to know that we are still a community united even though by the unthinkable.
Still today, I have thought about replying to some of those posts and start to type something myself, but I stop. Something at work distracts me or I have something else on my mind.
Then, I read this article on The Huffington Post. Please read it.
I don't know what this 20 year old's story really is, but there are stories like his that have somehow avoided a tragedy of this proportion all over our country.
I really hate to admit it, but I would probably need more than two hands to count the times I have been this social worker looking into the eyes of a desperate mother.
(quote from the article mentioned above) "When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. 'If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,' he said. 'That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you've got charges.”
Families are suffering. People are trying to help, but I know from personal experience that it is HARD. I have taken a break over the past year and half from working in mental health. This is the reason I want to go back and the reason I don't want to go back. I don't have the answers. This is a conversation that needs to happen on a grand scale.
From a parent's prospective, I have to trust that God will take care of my family. I have to trust that he has prepared a plan for me and that it includes one day being a place where I am free from worry and fear.
It's hard to imagine when your heart is breaking, but my personal plan is to pray for Joy.
Joy for not only myself, my child and those I care so deeply about, but for families who are suffering on either side of this tragedy or any other and especially for the survivors of this tragedy because their burden will be great.
Romans 5:2-5 says, through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
i've felt 'wordless' the last few days, too. my last post was meant for these sweet families. i initially titled it "when there are no words", but the light dancing in all the photos reminded me of the sweet little innocents, maybe dancing now where the light is. the verse you chose is so hopeful. thanks for sharing that
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