the line in the middle #glee #rememberingcory

I started my day laughing so hard I cried and now I end it with tears streaming down my face in a nostalgic sadness. Life is funny that way. It begins and ends all the time. We start and stop, go forward and backward. The things in the middle are supposed to be what really matter but those are the things we are quick to forget until the end comes or we are anticipating a new beginning.

This may seem silly to some (or all) of you, but I was genuinely shocked and sad when Cory Monteith  died. I'd never felt that way about someone I didn't know, let alone a celebrity. Truth is, Glee has been a staple in my weekly routine since it's been on the air (5 years!). Yes it's about teenagers who burst into song randomly throughout the episode while addressing hard hitting issues in a hilarious and sometimes almost mean spirited jargon-like script. It's just so relative to the high school kid in us all and has such a special place in my heart. I feel like I can feel what they are feeling and for me bursting out in song relating that to a song is the norm. I once told a friend of mine that I could create a soundtrack for my life or relive my life song by song and she said "I know you could". Even for a person like me who can't sing or play an instrument very well, music is in my soul and that show gives us permission to express ourselves and tells us all (not just kids) that it's okay to be who you are. Someone loves you, just that way you are.

At the same time though, there's an underlying message that we can all be better. We can have bigger dreams. We can put ourselves out there. We can show others a little more love. We can tell others how we feel. There was a quote in tonight's episode which addressed cory/finn's death "do you really think someday when you are on your death bed you are going to look back and say 'oh good, no one knew I was kind'?"

I'd like to think people would remember me for something I did that made them happy. One little thing I did that left them with a smile or just feeling a little better about themselves or their day. Those are all the things in the middle that really matter.