The urgency of being still | 52 Weeks of Us Weeks 18/19/20/21

When I put in my resignation from my full time job in mid-April, I felt like nothing was REALLY happening. It felt like I'd been wanting to do it for so long, that the realization probably still hasn't hit me that I don't have to go back to work. There is also the realization that I don't have a full time job... and no steady guaranteed income. That in itself has actually been very anxiety provoking. I've spent many days wondering where my hours are going because I just feel this urgency to make things happen so I can bring in more income and I wind up frozen. I knew when I put my faith in the unknown that I would be tested. That there would be times of serious doubt, but I have yet to see my husband waiver and everyone around me has been very chill about it all...while on the inside I am freaking out! I'm trying to remain calm and enjoy my time I have now, but it's so hard.

Ezra May 2016 | 52 Weeks of Us | Week 18

Then, at the end of last week, my friend Faith posted a link to Emily P. Freeman's 7 Day Devotion that she will be reading aloud for 5 minutes each day and I listened to the intro/invitation. Yes, I thought. Hearing Emily say "...you're trying to find a way through a changing set of circumstances", I thought yes, yes, yes! that's just what I am doing. When she talked about the anxiety of change and transition feeling like rushing waters just beneath the surface, I could almost feel myself drowning.  I am supposed to be entering a time of rest but somehow I have forgotten how to rest. I identify with exactly that. God's timing is everything. I realized that if she's making a series about this very thing, then I am certainly not alone. I knew I needed this and so I signed up to get the devotions via email and it is GOOD for my soul. So. So. Good. I encourage you to listen. Take 10 minutes and sit in silence because you need those minutes for your soul to rest. I am finding myself listening to the 5 minutes over and over because it's so so soothing for the soul to hear her speak the words of God in a way I can whole heartedly relate to. 

Jonah wanted to go for a ride through the woods but stay on the road.
May 2016 | 52 Weeks of Us | Week 19

Ezra May 2016 Peek-a-Boo
52 Weeks of US | Week 20

So, now as I'm heading into two busy weeks (VBS + Travel), I am going to listen and relisten to this & Day Devotion and maybe Grace of the Good Girl too because I need the still moments to remember why I am here and who I am apart from these little pieces of joy I spend my days with. I feel like there's an urgency in my soul to be still and KNOW that God is here and He has got this.

Ezra in the playroom May 2016
52 Weeks of Us | Week 21

Jonah/Raf/Mikey or whoever he says he is today. =) May 2016
52 Weeks of Us | Week 21

and then just like that I caught up on one thing, I'd been longing to get caught up on.... my 52 Project. Here I'll share a photo or 2 or 3 from the week of our family.... just being us. They looks different all the time but I feel like it's important to document who they/we are at this time in our lives. Join me each week for 52 Weeks of US.