The Wilde Olive Blog: Family Update | Fall 2017


Family Update | Fall 2017

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Sometimes just jumping in with both feet first is the best way to go... so here we go. 

I came here, to the blog, on October 1st to write a family update and talk about my husband's stroke that happened over Labor Day weekend and the week following that we spent in the hospital and before I could hit publish, our lives were flipped upside down again when on the way to school October 2nd, the boys and I were hit out of nowhere and totaled my husband's car. We are all okay. After both very traumatic events and more prescription drugs that we can count, we are all okay. 

People ask me when I see them out, mostly about how Wesley is doing, and I tell them he's okay and that's true for the most part. I didn't really social media share about our wreck because by the time I could, it didn't feel right for some reason.

We are still dealing with the aftermath of what it means to have a Vertebral Artery Dissection and an ischemic stroke. Things like this you don't think happen to you in your mid-thirties, but because I worked in rehab it felt all too common to me and even that much scarier. Honestly, he was in a lot of pain for a while and we tiptoed around for weeks, a month, still sometimes. Partly in fear and partly because we were just waiting on the fog to clear. Thankfully, that has mostly happened, but honestly the set backs are hard when you are just trying to get back to normal life. Set backs that might be a full day or weekend in bed. Set backs that make you question whether this headache is worthy of visit to the ER. Set backs may include making sure your children know that everybody is okay after two very close calls because sometimes they just need to talk it through in their own way. Set backs may include your three year old telling you to put both of your hands on the steering wheel and then remembering how scared you were in that split second you thought your life would never look the same. Set backs may include checking on everyone in the middle of the night just because you can't sleep until you do. Set backs may include getting angry because the anxiety of trying to wear your big girl pants is just a lot. Set backs may include a rapid heartbeat out of no where when you are driving through an intersection or your six year old finally telling you that he's dealing with fear that we'll drive into a lake.

Moving forward though, is the only option. Trusting that God is still in control when you feel like you could lose it at any moment is moving forward. Celebrating in this very busy season of our lives is, for me, the best way to move forward. Creating memories for my family that they will carry with them is important to keep me moving forward. Getting back to the things I love and feeling like I'm using my gifts is the key to my family thriving and not just surviving. Although, some days feel like surviving and not thriving. That's okay though. In those moments and during the set backs surviving with all of us here together is enough.

So, here are the facts, after the stroke and VAD, Wesley has to be careful, no lifting or rigorous activity because his artery was damaged and has to heal. He'll follow up in December with an CT Scan to make sure that has happened and there's no scar tissue that may cause blockage.  He had complications from his Cerebral Angiogram, but we think those have all healed - praise the Lord - that was the hardest part. The stroke was minor but he could see the affects for a year or even longer. When he's over tired, over worked, sick, his fatigue, headaches, fine coordination can all be worsened. With two small children, we've had our fair share of sickness around here this Fall, so we know these things to be true.

After the wreck, I had lots of soreness and some bruising for about two weeks and the kids had seatbelt burns from their carseats on their neck/chest area, but all is physically healed. I sincerely thank God that he has led me to be diligent in carseat safety for them, because it could have been so much worse. Five point harness for life. 

I feel like to move forward and blog about our family life like I always have, those things had to be shared. Everything in our life right now is after the stroke or since the wreck. It won't be that way for much longer, but in this season, that's just what it is. There are so many other things going on in this world that are hard and heart breaking and unfair. Some days are much harder for other people than they have ever been for me, but I believe in hope. I think this time of year is a time a celebrate that hope and I can't wait to share it with you. I have birthday parties that were great celebrations of our little guys' lives to share and Fall activities that were so much fun! I am looking forward to the family time we get to spend this month and next and I am even looking forward to turning thirty five. 

So, let's keeping moving forward, surviving, thriving, and growing together. 

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