From the beginning...

Today, it has been twenty three days since the best day of my life, however, I think I will start back at the beginning with day one...

 10.19.11

We checked into the hospital at 5:30am...

 

and became parents at 5:30pm

 It's amazing what can change in 12 short hours. 

As many people have recounted to me over the past year, giving birth is an indescribable experience. I remember every detail, yet the whole day just seems like somewhat of a blur. Shortly after we arrived at the hospital, they were already giving me Pitocin and monitoring my contractions. Before I knew it, the pain came. It wasn't strong at first and honestly, didn't get too bad. I had always planned on getting an epidural and when the nurse said I could go ahead at almost 3 cm, I agreed. I am so happy I did. I was able to relax, rest, and laugh with my family for the better part of the afternoon. I had so much anxiety in the beginning and it didn't return until it was time for me to begin to push. Then, after we began, I was calm again. I don't think I would have been able to be so calm and present if I was in pain. Then, like no time had passed at all...he was here. He was in my arms. He was a whole, perfect, red skinned, slightly swollen, slimy and screaming little person. 

 

I'm not sure I knew exactly what to do when they first put him on my chest. I know I cried. I know I talked to him. I tried to make him warm and calm him down. I snuggled him and kissed him. 

In true Stephanie fashion...I'm pretty sure I made a joke...something like "there really was a baby in there!"

Lame, but at the same time, I guess I did come to realize that all that time it was this baby inside of me.

 He looked like this, even before we came to the hospital that morning. He was this person for 40 weeks on the inside and now I can finally see, touch, smell, hold him. 

He looks almost exactly how I pictured him. Mostly like his Daddy. Dark hair. Pouty lips. Long fingers and toes. He has many of Wesley's features, but I may get to claim his eyes. We'll see if they stay their current lighter shade of blue gray or if they to a dark hazel.

He screamed while they checked him out. It was actually really comforting to me that I could hear him across the small room. I barely paid attention to the doctor and nurses around me and kept asking Wesley how the baby was doing and what the baby was doing. I could see him, but not all that well. I wanted to hold him again and it seems like it took so long. I am so thankful that Wesley could be right there to be a calming voice and he was. It was really amazing how his cry would quiet when Wesley would speak to him. I guess I little familiarity in a big new world makes all the difference.

 Jonah Wilder

7lbs 12oz

21 inches long

 So tiny, yet so important.

  

  In seconds, he became the center of our universe. We are a family. Always connected. No matter what.

To look at these pictures now, I really see how much he has changed already. I recognize this new little baby, but he seems so different than the three week old sitting in the bouncer beside me, but at the same time, he seems like himself. He was born sucking on those hands and fingers. The swelling and the cone head are gone, but that head full of hair is just as crazy as it was the first day. And I still feel an overwhelming feeling when I just hold him, smell him, kiss him, and snuggle him. He is mine. Forever. And this is just the VERY beginning.


XOXO