Struggling to write... Photos from Mother's Day

I have been having a hard time writing lately. I feel like I have nothing to say. I am thinking constantly, but about my to-do list, baby names, potty training Jonah, and not really thinking. Not the kind of thinking that leads to being inspired to write. I couldn’t come up with some thankful, tear-filled mother’s day post. I wanted to, because I love being a mother, I love MY mother, I love connecting with other mothers. I love to watch and learn from the mothers in my life. I hurt for women who are separated from their children and mothers who are struggling with loss and understanding. I just seem to have fallen short in being able to express those feelings.

On Jonah: Vintgae Romper + Salt Water Surfers // On Stephanie: Ann Taylor  Loft Top + Noonday Collection Necklace + Jamberry Nails and a desperate need for a tan ;)

I'm struggling with articulating my feeling about the baby growing in my belly and about our family changing. I am truthfully struggling a little with expanding my arms past my one little boy who I cherish so much and at the same time, I see a newborn baby and I cannot wait until that day when I have this new baby boy safe in my arms. 

Over the past week or so, I have had some great moments with my son. Moments where I feel so close to him and moments where we just sit – side by side – knowing that we love and understand each other. He has made it to a stage where he will sit right next to me - touching, leaning on each other to watch a little television or read a book or just chat a little. 

We’ve had some really hard moments too. I am battling a little with disciplining my two and half year old that is just so fun-loving and silly sometimes that he doesn't understand when I’m serious. I am struggling with just making him happy to prevent a meltdown, even though it's wearing me out and maybe I should be teaching him differently. 

I am terrified of attempting to potty train him for real this weekend. I am prepared to be frustrated and tired but I don’t really know how to prepare myself for the ickiness of it all. I’m afraid of giving up and just letting him be my baby for a little while longer.

So, even though just random thoughts seem to pour out when I need them, I'm ready for rest and for the ability to focus and for the ideas to start flowing. It will come, but I feel like it's been too long and I need a little inspiration. 

Linking with Little Things Thursday & Trendy Tots