Seeking Light | A Word for 2017

I have started this post many times now and to be honest, there's another post sitting waiting to be written but as I was trying to focus this morning, I decided to start over. In the time that I was home over the holidays with kids 24/7,  I was barely able post here and work or prepare for the new year because, well, I do everything at the last minute. It's just who I am. I don't have post ready to go before they are due and I don't have post waiting to be published days ahead of time. I am not a very "good blogger". To prove that even more, here I am on January 23rd finally writing about a word that I have chosen to guide me through 2017. Backing up again, during that time I was home, I did think a lot and set goals in my head. I saw people begin to talk about choosing their word of the year and review their word from last year and so clearly, the word "Light" came to me. It came the way you know that God is speaking to you. It wouldn't leave, just on repeat, the word light. I couldn't even come up with another word. Even after looking at other's words or their words from past years, Light was the only word in my head. So, I started thinking about it, focusing on it, and questioning how light would be my word and I came up with these areas where I will seek light.

SEEKING LIGHT THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHY

Of course, number one, my most passionate place is in the photos I take. I will seek physical light daily by pursuing 365 days of photos. I get to use my eye and my skill to find light in every day. This is so important for me in the winter months when everything feels so gloomy so much of the time. Finding the light even in the darkness to capture a photo of one of my boys in their bed or in that last little streak of sunlight makes me feel accomplished. I also get to find the light in life through these photos. There was a good, beautiful moment in that day and I captured it! I get to keep it forever. It's a reminder that seeking light is more than just making a good photo, its an emotion, and that's really what make the photo worth while in the first place. 

SEEKING HIS LIGHT

Seeking His Light and letting it shine through me is always a desire of mine, but I feel like I am constantly struggling. I don't ever feel like the person that brightens someone's day, yet there are so many people out there doing that for others and for me even. When I was working full-time as a Social Worker, I would often pray in the car on my way to work for this exact thing. Lord let your light shine through me today. Let others see me and know that you are my life source. Maybe occasionally I succeeded, but I don't know, maybe not. I want this though. I want people to see me and read things I write and know that my hope comes from above. 

SEEKING A LIGHTER LIFE

I want to carry less of a burden of clutter. This is HARD for me. Right now I'm looking at my shelf-less office and see piles of stuff that needs to go somewhere. I have a house full of things and honestly not that many of them are serving their purpose. I also really like to buy new things and nothing ever looks "finished" around here because I keep it too complicated. Simplify, declutter, minimize. Now, I know I will never be a minimalist, because I just can't... I'm too sentimental and too attached to things, but I'm working towards a goal and that's okay for now. 

SEEKING A LIGHTER ME

This is two pronged and honestly I'm still having a hard time getting going here. I want to be physically lighter. I don't want to be weighed down by bad habits and over indulging. I don't want to be dependent on anything to "get me through the day". Food is fuel and I have place to go! Maybe I will feel a little lighter around my midsection while I'm at it. At the same time, I want to feel emotionally lighter. I carry burdens in a hard way. I am like a sponge to people's feelings around me and while I don't think that's a bad thing, I makes me feel emotionally heavy. I want to laugh more than I cry. I want to have lifted spirits at the end of the day when it's all said and done. I don't want to have to wait for the light of the morning to feel better and then start all over again. I want to go to bed at night and feel that my soul is settled. I want this, all of it, to spill over to my children. 

So here it is, my word. His word. 

"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."

Psalms 119: 105 NLT 

You can find #projectlight365, a daily photo project here monthly and daily on instagram @stephaniesclark